By “Hope”, 13 December 2023
Although I’m involved in a Court of Protection hearing myself, as a Litigant in Person, this was the first COP hearing I’ve observed involving another family.
The hearing was “Public with reporting restrictions” and could be watched either in person or (as I did) via a cloud video platform. Both parents were in court as Litigants in Person (LIPs).
First of all, I want to thank the Open Justice Court of Protection Project for encouraging me to join the hearing to understand how hearings are conducted, and how each hearing is different, which will assist anyone like myself who is acting as a Litigant in Person. I was nervous initially to join, as I feared due to being under COP proceedings myself, that I might not be allowed to join, or that it would be held against me in some way.
I’ve had to write this blog post anonymously because a Transparency Order is preventing me from identifying myself as the relative of someone who is a protected party (P) in a Court of Protection hearing.
Experience with requesting link
I followed the Open Justice Court of Protection Project guidance on requesting the link for the hearing. I had emailed the Newcastle COP where the hearing was being held, at 11:20 am, I thought it might be too late or I may be a nuisance in requesting quite late.
However, to my surprise, I received a response by 11:39 am with the Transparency Order. Shortly after, I received an email from the Court Clerk, who provided me with instructions for joining the hearing.
Unfortunately, I had several technical glitches attempting to join via Safari and Google Chrome. I nearly gave up as I thought it might look bad if I joined late. However, the court clerk noticed me drop in and out and reached out and encouraged me to download the ‘Infinity Connect’ app. This process took 5 minutes, and it was very easy to use once downloaded. I entered the log-in details – and here I was as an observer to the hearing.
The pain of a litigant in person
With any Court of Protection case, P must be at the heart of the matter before the judge.
Whatever decisions are made in the best interests of P will determine their life. The judge must make these decisions in accordance with the Human Rights Act 1998, the Equality Act 2010, and of course the Mental Capacity Act 2005.
My understanding of the Mental Capacity Act 2005 is that we must always act in the best and least restrictive way to ensure P has the best possible life and care they rightfully deserve.
One would hope the shared goal would be to find a peaceful ground between parties – particularly the family member in dispute, which in this case is P’s mother, who strongly believes her daughter is being mistreated by the professionals supposed to be caring for her. This requires the care professionals to understand, show empathy and compassion, actively listen and work together in the best interests of P. In my own experience, attention became focused on the family in dispute, and P’s best interests, P’s health and P’s well-being was overshadowed.
Sometimes things can go very wrong, which has happened for P and P’s Mother in the case I watched.
Listening to P’s mother, I felt an instant deep pain and sadness. I heard a mother’s voice, who was in great pain, who’d clearly been battling for years and had been feeling unheard.
A mother’s instinct is to care for and support their loving daughter. What I saw was a very desperate mother, who wanted to be heard and wanted a better resolution to help her daughter.
P’s mother is Russian, and English is her second language. It’s known through Russian culture, that mothers are very passionate about their families and protectors of their children, and there’s no doubt that we saw this through listening to P’s mother, who sincerely wants the best for her daughter in care and is desperate to have her mother and daughter bond back.
Her passion was very expressive through her emotion and strong which I believe years of battle also, had exacerbated the emotion to a high tension, where P’s mother is desperate for the judge to listen and acknowledge he heard her. She often felt unheard and expressed her disappointment at being cut off.
As a born British, my personal experience in Court of Protection proceedings has been very overwhelming with the legal system and court process. Being in court is already nerve-racking, but to find yourself facing allegations against you – including very unkind ones where you’re accused of not acting in the best interests of your vulnerable disabled family member who you wholeheartedly love, and have cared for through a labour of love, the pain you find yourself in is very deep and intense.
There’s also the other factor, which is reading many negative allegations about you by the Local Authority Social Care staff and Care Home, of those who are meant to work collaboratively towards a shared goal – which is the best interests of P.
Then as a Litigant in Person, it involves navigating through the court process, writing your Witness Statements, preparing evidence, spending hours, sleepless nights and without a life, as the whole focus becomes the proceedings where you are desperate to defend yourself, so you can have a life with your most loved person, P. Not forgetting all the legal terminology and abbreviations of words and law references. It’s a minefield.
With approaching 2 years since my proceedings started, I still struggle to process what has happened, and why and to understand the jargon. So, I cannot imagine how it feels to P’s mother, who is not only trying to navigate through very complex proceedings, where she has felt let down and watched her daughter suffer helplessly but also finds herself navigating the process in a language she is not fluent in. I thought she was very brave. I know I would not survive if I had to talk in court when I did not understand the law or speak the language.
It’s a very lonely and isolating world for a family in these proceedings, particularly as you are surrounded by parties who are against you. The focus becomes the ‘fight’, where the human perspective can be forgotten. In this hearing, P’s mother’s feelings and well-being were not a priority. But COP is not about who wins. It is meant to be about the best interests of P, but in this case it seemed focused on defeating the mother.
Supporting ‘P’s Mother
I wanted to reach out to P’s mother and offer her my care and support. I knew what she needed to hear, which was that her voice does matter and that many of us in similar situations in the Court of Protection understand her pain. I wanted to help her to ground her emotions, and guide her with a breathing exercise. I did reach out on social media and let her know she was doing amazing considering the situation, and that to remember to take a few deep breaths, when emotions kick in. I explained that the judge needed to hear her as a mother and understand the facts, as we know emotions can get the better of us, and sometimes what we are trying to say can get lost when the emotions take over, which we know can then negatively reflect our position and allow the other party to use against us.
One thing it’s important to highlight is that in Court of Protection proceedings, there is sadly often a lack of care and support for the family members. We understand P is the most important person, and COP hearings are about P’s best interests. However, in complex proceedings where a family member becomes the target, the hearing also becomes about P’s family. But P would not want their family to be forgotten or experience distress for simply being a devoted loving mother, who is trying to be their voice.
It seems as though each professional is backed up and genuinely has each other’s support, including witnesses such as Social Workers and Care Workers. However, for P’s family it’s a different experience: they are completely alone and isolated, almost foreign bodies in the hearing, and they are fighting to be heard and wanting to be part of P’s life and best interests.
Through my own experience and reading blogs by the Open Justice COP Project, it deeply saddens me and worries me that the mental well-being of a family can be left unsupported. There are many aspects of suffering, and feeling suicidal, due to the numerous allegations of which you even struggle to defend yourself in COP proceedings. You are left feeling unheard – as you’re told COP only cares about P. As a family in dispute, you’re a tiny person who is helplessly almost begging to be heard to clear your name and be part of P’s life.
Families are left on their own, with no support, financially burdened and forced to act as litigants in person. There’s endless documentation, statement filing and many other admin, that already is overwhelming but as a LIP and family member, you find yourself being scrutinized in a way professionals are not, and you then question the fairness, transparency and justice of the proceedings. With all this, your right to private life and your career are put on pause as you have little capacity for normal life.
My hope and desire is that one day the well-being of family members acting as litigants in person can be taken into consideration. We are forced into these proceedings with accusations, due to choosing a path to be part of our disabled vulnerable loved one’s life. We want to genuinely act in the best interest of P and have positive relationships with professionals who want the best interest of P.
I have experienced a lot of negativity from social care professionals, which made me feel unsafe. I was left traumatized after some hearings and spent days in bed, not knowing who I could talk to. I genuinely don’t think professionals have any idea how we feel. As Litigants in Person we have to put on a facade to stand strong in the face of adversity, but inside we are truly shattered and suffering, and we want a professional to talk to us on a human level.
Our mental health needs to be prioritised by the COP. There needs to be a human level of understanding of the significant impact proceedings can have on us, and how we are left at the end of the hearing with no support or anyone following up on us or checking on how we are coping. Professionals need to understand the life-long trauma proceedings can cause to family members.
I believe the Court of Protection should offer free post-hearing counselling – or that a psychologist should be involved in the proceedings to offer support to help us engage with such a difficult painful process.
I hope that anyone who faces proceedings as a Litigant in Person (or even legally represented) remembers that you matter too. Your ‘voice’ matters. Remember to practice self-love and remember to reach out when the going gets tough.
And for anyone in a professional position, whatever the dispute, remember that P’s family matters to P, and they would not choose for their family to go through such pain. We should not be at war between Social Care and Family as P needs us all to help them live the healthy and happy life they deserve.
So I end this with sharing an abundance of peace, that my biggest wish and desire is that humanity will prevail to act in the best interests of P, where they can have their families close by and be cared for lovingly.
“Hope” (a pseudonym chosen to reflect her feelings) acted as a litigant in person during a very complex Court of Protection case and hopes that one day COP can improve the experience for families and give priority to family well-being and mental health – which will ultimately have better outcomes for P’s best interests.
Promoting Open Justice in the Court of Protection 